"A fool and his money are soon elected."
"All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases."
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
"I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer."
"If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics."
"The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer."
"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected."
"They are voting whether to keep a governor two years or four. I think a good, honest governor should get four years, and the others life."
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."